A Wish List Item

Some days I want a sign. Big. Neon. Porable, that's important. Big enough to be impossible to miss, small enough I can hump it about. Bright, blood red letters, foot tall. Two lines. It will read:

"You Are Not Helping"

I will have it equiped with a switch so that it can be turned on and off at a moment's notice. I will turn it on every time someone wants to do something superflurous, or idiotic, or obstructive... all ostentiously to be help to me.

I cannot begin to number the times I must have needed that sign today.

Sort of Expected this

And... yeah.

Saw this coming.

Okay, so the schedual has been caught by the twin demons of procrastination and lethargy. Between them they have consumed it and spat out it's bones. On the other hand, I hear the things regenerate, so...

Anyhow. I need a topic. Um.

Yeah. Therein lies the problem. I have all sorts of ideas of what to type before I get here. They just evaporate once I am, you know, here.

It is why comedians sleep next to notebooks, and poets always carry a pen and a writing tablet. Just because you can put something down, doesn't mean you can manage it all of the time. It can be grueling, painful to try and sit and force inspiration. Or the easiest thing in the world. These are not mutually exclusive per human either - a person can experience both, sometimes in a fifteen minute period.

So, yeah. I have great ideas. Many topics. Unfortunatelly, then I got anywhere near my blog, and - poof, gone.

Except for the one on musing on theology, and I kinda think if anyone actually reads this thing that may get me stoned. So it is good that no one out there actually follows this.

Though, if I can't figure anything else tomorrow night, I might be risking it. Gotta raise that schedual from the dead somehow.

Fun With Language

I once had a Latin instructor who drummed it into my head that Latin is not code for English, and in fact, no language translates perfectly into any other. Therefore, translation between, say, English and Farsei, or German and Russian, isn't a 1:1 proposition. No matter how similar the languages are, there will be some nuance that can't be handled by simple conversion methods. It might be a construction of grammar, a twist of syntax, a shade of meaning, cultural connocation, or a multitude of factors all conspiring to make even the simplest of meaning difficult to divine across the bridge of differing language.

This is why machine translators can give you a general idea of what a sentence from another language might mean, but only a true fool would ever trust the exact translation to be spat out by one. Provided, of course, that the translation being spit out even sounds like language in the first place. Translation is an art; machines are notoriously poor artists

Which makes some things, like, say, this website so much fun.

I mean, what could be more amusing to do than take that old game of telephone - whispering a sentence to a circle and watching it mutate as it goes around the room - with the vulgarities of allowing machines to try and do translating. Translate one sentence, back and forth between languages, and wait until meaning breaks down. Sometimes spectacularly.

This is so much fun, in fact, I played around with it for a good while. For instance, a line from the HBO series 'The Pacific':
"Oh for god's sakes, coffee is the one thing we got to enjoy around here, and we'd just like a little quiet to enjoy it. Now, you either go kill Lieutenant Larkin, or shut the f--- up."

After ten translations, that sentence became:
"Oh, God, and coffee, everything here still use it. Now, you have to kill you or f--- Lieutenant Larkin."

After fifty-four translations:
"Oh, coffee is still available. Soldiers were killed in a day or kiss."

I mean, most of the noun specifics are still there. But the meaning between the nouns is worlds different.

Go on. Try it.

Little Rabbit Foo Foo

Little Rabbit Foo Foo,
Hoppin' through the forest
Scoopin' up the field mice
And boppin' them on the head

Down came the good fairy,
And she said:

"Little Rabbit Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scoopin' up the field mice
And boppin' them on the head"

"I'll give you two more chances."

So the next day:
Little Rabbit Foo Foo
Hoppin' through the forest
Scoopin' up the field mice
And pattin' them on the head.

Down came the evil fairy,
And she said:

"Little Rabbit Foo Foo,
I thought I had warned you
About scoopin' up the field mice
And pattin' them on the head."

"I'll give you two more chances.
Then I 'adjust' your attitude."

So the next day...
Little Rabbit Foo Foo
Hoppin' through the forest
Scoopin' up the field mice
And boppin' them on the head

Down came the good fairy,
And she said:

"Little Rabbit Foo Foo
I'm disappointed in you
Scoopin' up the field mice
And boppin' them on the head"

"You have one more chance
After that I smite you."

So the next day:
Little Rabbit Foo Foo
Hoppin' through the forest
Scoopin' up the field mice
And pattin' them on the head

Down came the evil fairy
And she said:

"Little Rabbit Foo Foo
I'm really gonna hurt you
If ever I again see you
Pattin' a field mouse on the head"

"This is your last chance.
Not kidding - remember what happened to your cousin, Little Bunny Foo Foo?"

It was at this point that Little Rabbit Foo Foo realized he was screwed.

So on the next day...
Little Rabbit Foo Foo
Hoppin' through the forest
Scoopin' up the field mice
And alternately boppin' and pattin' them on the head.

Down came the good fairy
Down came the evil fairy
And they saw each other
And both said, "you".

They shook their heads,
And turned to Little Rabbit Foo Foo
And said:

"Little Rabbit Foo Foo
Little Rabbit Foo Foo
I'm disappointed in you
I'm furious with you
Scoopin' up the field mice
Scoopin' up the field mice
And boppin' -
And pattin' -"

Then the good fairy said:
"Heck with it-"
And attacked the evil fairy.
Who was expecting that.

So that night...
Little Rabbit Foo Foo
Scampering through the forest
Scoopin' up the field mice
And getting out of the way

And the next day they threw a 'no more fairies' party.